If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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