Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
