Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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