The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
