Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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