Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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