took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
