Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
