my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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