If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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