dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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