I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
