someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
