They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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