So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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