Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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