I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
