OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
