I met the friendliest cop last night
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
