I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
