went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
