scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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