With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
