it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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