I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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