just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
