i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
