I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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