Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
