allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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