she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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