The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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