Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize