I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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