You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
