I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My vagina is officially offended.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
