Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
are you so shy because you have an std?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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