brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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