Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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