This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
