There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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