Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
