What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
