We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
