I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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