We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
