Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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