im about as happy as oj after his trial
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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