"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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