apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize