I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
