Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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