i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
