Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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