Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
