Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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