508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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