I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Found your dick twin last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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