My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
