it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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