He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
