he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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