Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish my penis had an off switch
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
