I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize